seeking an intelligent, open minded 'top'

Seeking an engaged, intelligent man to help evolve me into a new chapter of life. What I ideate is an experience that has consequences: being fucked in an unusual manner that is designed to affect the pudendal nerve bundle, which runs through (on me) the inner sphincter. The result of this being metamorphosis into a chaste being, focused and disciplined in a new, post sexual chapter of life. While this is the ultimate exchange of power and control, I see this as a profound, beautiful, connected experience. I encourage the credible conversation. not looking for right now, but to plan and then execute on something meaningful to us both.